No Hesitation

and then you turn
to me and say
'do you recall when 
you grabbed your grandmother's
old wicker chair
and cracked me over
the head with it?'

we swap hot coffee for
warm red wine and i
giggle and nod with a smile
we swim, sink and
resurface in memories as
the smoke from our cigarettes
dilutes our laughter

we speak of smashing plates,
restraints
and foul actions parallel to love
then you
move in and try to kiss me
and i
feel myself sicker 
then the night 
we ended up
throwing up bile
together

There Is No One To Take Care Of You Now

I propel myself forward with an energy

So rarely seen in one so sickly

With one arm caught up in my jacket

 The other grabbing

At my hair

My fingers twisted and pulling

Displaying tangled frantic behavior from asylums

and nightmares

I bare the whites of my teeth

I bare the whites of my eyes

Wild and showing the moon*

I scream about pain and love

And fucking and

Dig my nails into my own skull and

Shake and smile

Why won’t you wait for me

Why won’t you come back for me

I spin around as my ankles give way on the flooring

And I am just another drunk trying to stay sane on

A Wednesday morning.

My eyes roll

The top row of teeth melts over my jaw

 And my limbs are splayed in

The most impossible

Awkward angles

I heard music in the background

Jangle ‘I am sailing on the sea’

My fingers feel the street first, licking

Back at the forever wetted cobbles

Before my body goes down

And I see everything around me in a

Split second

Beautiful and grey and smeared with black

 You were always in my visions and

I already thought I was on my knees

Briefly I start to live again as you

Pace towards me and

I close my eyes and push my face forward

As if I am about to kiss the sun*

But as I search you

There is no light for Mass in your eyes

 

Polite Notice

You and your girls

In and around the bar

The Terror of Human Freedom

For the King Rat on his Birthday. (You're not Punk, and I'm telling everyone.)

The chapter never ends if

You do not read the last line

So we pull it on and over

Into Real Life where

You get bigger and stronger

And take me with you

Like a current, swept up

Pulling me along

A caring wave that

Will not stop until we reach the shore

‘I believe that I hate you more than anything

Else in the world’ are the truest words

You ever penned and

The pain in which we celebrate and devour each other

Is the marrow core of what we are because

We are not a work of fiction.



- For Beau Voge

Here, no more
Hear, no more

Waltzing

I’m not sure who you are

But the way you are going

          I’m going too

You’ve got something of the Devil in you

I am the birth

And you are the death

Together we are change